Survivor Palau Episode 3 Recap: It's A Shame About Jeff

Jeff Probst is a big meanie, complains Kim as this week's episode begins. Ulong has just returned from Tribal Council, minus Ashlee. Probst had the nerve to ask whether Kim's snuggling with her tribemate, Jeff (man, those two Jeffs are confusing) could be seen as an alliance. How dare he? She didn't really say "big ol' meanie," she said she didn't like his questions, but her pouting and petulant tone left no doubt she considers him a meanie. James watches as she cuddles with Jeff. In confessional, James tells us that all Kim has is her sexuality and that she has to go. Non-Survivor-viewers across the world ask friends and loved ones, "Did you hear something?" as Survivor viewers across the world let out a small but fairly unanimous cheer for James.

At Koror it's pouring rain and what Tom has lovingly dubbed their "lame shelter" fails to provide much protection. They are also getting on each-other's nerves. Coby has noticed the downside to winning the Immunity Challenges, "You know you can't ever get rid of anybody."

Caryn and Katie would definitely like to be rid of each-other. Caryn thinks Katie is "tart," and "has something to say all the time about everything," especially to her. She confronts her, but not in a very productive way. Caryn accuses her of making snotty remarks and demands to know why she has an attitude only with her, interrupts her, and then leaves before she can respond. In confessional, Caryn acknowledges that she may have just hurt her standing in the tribe. Don't worry, Caryn, you were annoying last week too!

Reward Challenge: By Any Means Necessary


Not the pic Probst would have selected

In this challenge, members from each tribe take turns turns facing off in the water for control of a life preserver. The first two battles are one-on-one -- a member from each tribe swims out to retrieve a life preserver. The opposing team member tries to keep them from reaching the buoy, and take the life preserver from them. The third battle is two-on-two, with two members from each team fighting each-other. The first tribe to score three points wins a sewing kit. The lack of big-name sponsors thus far this season is so refreshing. Almost as refreshing as a nice, long sip of cool, delicious [the name of your company's beverage could appear HERE! Leave a comment on this recap with your email address. We'll talk].

In the first match-up Jeff held back and let Tom get the life preserver. Tom put it around his waist and Jeff dragged him down. Jeff won a point. Stephenie then went against Jennifer in what Jeff excitedly declares "a good, old-fashioned catfight." Thanks for pointing out that we're supposed to find this portion of the RC titilating, Jeff. Some people who were not enjoying it on that level may have been able to do so once he mentioned that. Okay, so the two women splashed at each other a lot. That sort of thing. It didn't do anything for me. Stephenie won. In the two-on-two- battle, Bobby Jon and Angie took on Gregg and Janu. Angie dunked both Janu and Gregg -- she went after them in a fairly harsh way -- and Ulong won the reward.

Upon returning to camp, Stephenie tells her tribemates, "That was so awesome, we totally kicked their ass." Bobby Jon hugs and kisses Angie, who grins and laughs. He also insists, "That's what I'm talking about," but clever editing obscures whether it's the kiss and/or the hug that is in fact what he is talking about -- darn editors!

Ibrehem has no idea what he could do with a sewing kit, but Bobby Jon thinks it's great, both for sewing and to use for fishing line and hooks. He is less happy about his tribe. The problem should not surprise us, given that Ulong is a younger tribe. Naturally, they are a bunch of, what the kids call "slackers." Apparently this "slacking" activity is still "cool" nowadays. Odd that the young tribe has even one hard worker. Bobby Jon must be some sort of weirdo. He works hard to get them food, while they lay around and nap or watch him get food. Bobby Jon says Kim is the worst one, and doesn't understand the value of work. Kim thinks Bobby Jon works too hard, and tells us he might "crash and burn" in two weeks.

The Koror Killing Klub

Gregg, Tom, and Ian find a venomous snake. Aaaiiigh! Run! They want to eat it. Okay, sure, that's also an option. Ian chops its head off. He loves animals and hated the idea of killing the snake. So he apologizes before he kills it. That probably made the snake feel a lot better about being killed. Not as good as the snake would have felt about being alive, but pretty good. They find three more snakes, and kill them. As the carcasses hang over the water to dry, Koror notices that they seem to be attracting a shark. The three snake-killing buddies ask Jennifer to "chop some snake up," and they place it in the water to try to lure the shark closer. They stand in the water, with sharpened sticks, hoping to kill the shark. Tom tells us that the shark saw them, and kept away, and they probably could not have done much with sticks anyway. He must not be familiar with that saying about "sticks and stones."

Immunity Challenge: Hot Pursuit

The IC treemail arrives at least a day sooner than Jeff had hoped it would. During the night he rolled his ankle over a coconut and injured it. Don't pretend it hasn't happened to you. It hurts! He has a bad limp, and from the sound of the treemail, the IC is purely physical.


Must ... not ... quit ... must ... win ... challenges ... win ... million. Hatch says ... it's not even .... taxable income ...

The survivors might nickname this Immunity Challenge Tag In Hell. Everyone carries a backpack weighing 20 pounds. The tribes start out attached to each other, clipped to a rope and start at opposite sides of an oval course. They run on the beach, in the water, trying to catch up to each other. Any tribe members falling behind may unclip from the rope and drop out of the race, but they must give their backpack to another player, who must carry the extra weight. The first tribe to catch up to the other tribe and tag them wins Immunity.

Jeff immediately quit, and gave his backpack to Bobby Jon. Caryn and Willard also immediately quit, giving their backpacks to Tom and Ian. It eventually came down to a race between Gregg, Ian, and Tom for Koror versus Bobby Jon, Ibrehem and Stephenie for Ulong. Tom, carrying a heavy load, was able to burst forward and tag Ibrehem, securing Koror its third Immunity in a row.

Returning to camp, Jeff asks his tribemates to vote him out because his ankle is going to take too much time to heal. They question whether he's sure, hating the idea of losing him, but he doesn't waver. Bobby Jon tells Angie he plans to vote for Kim and tries to sway her from voting for Jeff. He shows her, from a distance, Jeff cutting fruit for the tribe, as Kim does nothing.

Tribal Council

At Tribal Council, Ibrehem insists that, "If we would have had Jeff, we would have won" immunity. Bobby Jon disagrees, believing Koror won because of Tom. Jeff splits the difference, asserting that Ulong at least would have had a better chance with him in the IC. He says he wants to be able to help his tribe but he can't.

Jeff notes that Kim seems "very frustrated." She denies it but then off she goes.

"I'll admit to you, it's hard being on this team when you have these guys that are very strong and tons of stamina and workaholics. I could never measure up to Bobby Jon, I mean he's frickin' Tarzan." - Kim, on why it's hard to be Kim

She adds that it's frustrating to lose, she's sick of being at TC, and don't you hate that yucky mustard that leaks out and dries on the top of the cap? Debbie Downer continues her lament, "Our tribe's obviously manifested itself to being a tribe that the strongest stay and the weakest go." She sounds frustrated and a bit disgusted by that "manifestation." Stupid survival of the fittest. It is obviously discriminatory to vote out weaker players. It would be much more fair to vote out people who best help the tribe win challenges and who provide the tribe with food.


Jeff gets his wish

Survivor: Palau Insider Video reveals that Angie only voted for Jeff because of his "bad attitude." She also says, "You're not a martyr; this isn't for your ankle." Perhaps Angie's vote went unaired because it was inconsistent with that storyline -- that Jeff is a team player and, yes, sort of a martyr. James and Bobby Jon vote for Kim, with James calling Kim lazy and Bobby Jon saying he refuses to play her and Jeff's "silly-ass game." Jeff can't vote for himself and apparently wouldn't vote for his "warmth" friend. He votes for James. James looks flabbergasted when Jeff reads the vote against him. Jeff's torch is snuffed and he tells his former tribemates to take Koror to the cleaners. Kim wonders why a sewing kit is a great reward if there's a cleaners on the island, and why should they take Koror to the cleaners? Let them do their own laundry, and they should do hers too, and maybe one of them can snuggle with her and keep people from being mean to her and trying to vote against her.

Next Week on Survivor:

Treemail instructs Ulong and Koror to "choose a tribal representative to make some important choices." Coby asks, "What if the person goes and doesn't come back?" Jeff incredulously asks Ulong, "You've not picked a representative yet?" Hey, they're slackers, and slackers slack!