The Apprentice 3 Episode 5 Recap: Screw-up-a-Go-Go Go-Goes
We all knew Michael's time was running out after his horrible behaviour during episode 3. Okay, Michael didn't know, but in his mind, he lives in Michaelania, a wonderful land somewhere in Eastern Europe where the parking lots are large, business names usually end in a-go-go, he is the sexiest, most brilliant Apprentice candidate ever.
Poor Michael ... once again his clever ideas summarily rejected by the "evil people" of Magna Corp. What's wrong with naming their mobile spa/massage business Massage-a-go-go? Erin called him both a pig-a-go-go and a chauvinist-a-go-go but he was right about this much: there is at least one restaurant called Sushi-a-Go-Go. At least in December 2002 it was "very good considering how 'efficient' the place was" according to this blog.
Admittedly, that's still no reason to throw a tantrum-a-go-go, or complain non-stop about being on flyer duty. Complaining to George about the task, and making him practically perform a Carolyn intervention to try to motivate you is not something a future apprentice would do.
However, Stephanie's negativity, its impact on team morale, and her scheming preparation for the boardroom when she should be working on the task almost saved Michael.
To survive, Michael just had to sit still and be quiet for a couple minutes, which is not easy for him. As Bren is saying why Stephanie should be fired is not the time to interrupt him, Michael! Trump has shown time and time again that he hates it when people don't know when to be quiet.
In yet another Horrible Voice-over, Trump dramatically intoned, "Hey, look, you claim to be like me? The difference is, I work hard."
And ... we re-join the boardroom where Trump is speaking, "You've been lazy, you've been nothing but trouble. And now you cut them off as they're fighting each-other for who should be fired."
Why go to the trouble of adding that soundbite about Michael claiming to be like Trump? Couldn't Trump have said that at the time if he wanted to?
Another sign Michael was a fool? That he even wanted to be a mini-Trump. The last dude to try that was the 10-year-old producer of the Ferco Brothers Tiger and Illusion Show at the Trump Taj Mahal who told Troy, "Don't sell it if it's already sold" back in season 1. He was awesome, but we never saw him on The Apprentice again, did we?
What have we learned?
1) Don't try to be Trump. The position is filled. (And one is enough)
2) Know when to be quiet, in the boardroom, and during the tasks.
3) Creativity is good. Within reason. Let's be glad Michael was not around to contribute ideas when Marie, who Magna hired for their spa business, suggested they offer other services to attract people. Net Worth's casting business was creative but Magna's less creative idea easily could have triumphed with better marketing, aided perhaps by slightly higher prices.
4) Jill was right, there is more to marketing than flyers. Both teams have laptops. Use some of that seed money to advertise on websites. Seek permission to post info on relevant newsgroups. See lesson 3.
5) Tana believes "Uma Thurma" is a big name.
6) Craig knows how to do the pageant wave and is man enough to wear a tiara.
7) The men wanted to give their girlfriends (and in Craig's case, wife) a pearl necklace and no joke will be made here because this is not a Joe Schmo 2 recap.
8) "I own a nice large parking lot in the city" is very much not the best line ever, but you want to try it now anyway, you know you do. Just like you now want to start adding a-go-go to words. Michael was not right about much of anything other than chef outfits and veggie porn not being winning ideas, but doggone it, he just had a special magic-a-go-go.
Poor Michael ... once again his clever ideas summarily rejected by the "evil people" of Magna Corp. What's wrong with naming their mobile spa/massage business Massage-a-go-go? Erin called him both a pig-a-go-go and a chauvinist-a-go-go but he was right about this much: there is at least one restaurant called Sushi-a-Go-Go. At least in December 2002 it was "very good considering how 'efficient' the place was" according to this blog.
Admittedly, that's still no reason to throw a tantrum-a-go-go, or complain non-stop about being on flyer duty. Complaining to George about the task, and making him practically perform a Carolyn intervention to try to motivate you is not something a future apprentice would do.
However, Stephanie's negativity, its impact on team morale, and her scheming preparation for the boardroom when she should be working on the task almost saved Michael.
To survive, Michael just had to sit still and be quiet for a couple minutes, which is not easy for him. As Bren is saying why Stephanie should be fired is not the time to interrupt him, Michael! Trump has shown time and time again that he hates it when people don't know when to be quiet.
In yet another Horrible Voice-over, Trump dramatically intoned, "Hey, look, you claim to be like me? The difference is, I work hard."
And ... we re-join the boardroom where Trump is speaking, "You've been lazy, you've been nothing but trouble. And now you cut them off as they're fighting each-other for who should be fired."
Why go to the trouble of adding that soundbite about Michael claiming to be like Trump? Couldn't Trump have said that at the time if he wanted to?
"The only thing separating me and Donald Trump is a few billion dollars. I think we're the same people. He likes Eastern European women I only exclusively date Eastern European women exclusively, that's it." - Michael, in a confessionalTrump wasn't there to hear either of these quotes, and neither was George or Jill-the-faux-Carolyn (who was pretty good). Sloppy voice-overs are always distracting, and it's worse to have one refer to something Trump shouldn't know. If Michael has mentioned being like Trump before and I just don't remember it, it's still bad because I bet I'm not the only one who doesn't remember it.
"He knows I'm a player; he knows I'm a mini-Trump" - Michael, to his teammates
Another sign Michael was a fool? That he even wanted to be a mini-Trump. The last dude to try that was the 10-year-old producer of the Ferco Brothers Tiger and Illusion Show at the Trump Taj Mahal who told Troy, "Don't sell it if it's already sold" back in season 1. He was awesome, but we never saw him on The Apprentice again, did we?
What have we learned?
1) Don't try to be Trump. The position is filled. (And one is enough)
2) Know when to be quiet, in the boardroom, and during the tasks.
3) Creativity is good. Within reason. Let's be glad Michael was not around to contribute ideas when Marie, who Magna hired for their spa business, suggested they offer other services to attract people. Net Worth's casting business was creative but Magna's less creative idea easily could have triumphed with better marketing, aided perhaps by slightly higher prices.
4) Jill was right, there is more to marketing than flyers. Both teams have laptops. Use some of that seed money to advertise on websites. Seek permission to post info on relevant newsgroups. See lesson 3.
5) Tana believes "Uma Thurma" is a big name.
6) Craig knows how to do the pageant wave and is man enough to wear a tiara.
7) The men wanted to give their girlfriends (and in Craig's case, wife) a pearl necklace and no joke will be made here because this is not a Joe Schmo 2 recap.
8) "I own a nice large parking lot in the city" is very much not the best line ever, but you want to try it now anyway, you know you do. Just like you now want to start adding a-go-go to words. Michael was not right about much of anything other than chef outfits and veggie porn not being winning ideas, but doggone it, he just had a special magic-a-go-go.
posted by trill42 at 7:22 p.m.
1 Comments:
Alas, one of the Yahoo videos reveals that Miss Universe or Miss USA (I don't remember which one, and I'm too traumatized to watch the video again) taught Net Worth how to do the pageant wave. I'd like to believe that Craig already knew how to do the pageant wave, I really would. But unless he tells us that, there's no reason to believe he did. He was good at it, though, and isn't that worth something in this crazy, mixed-up world of ours? It must be worth something, or why would there be a pageant wave?
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