Survivor Palau Episode 1 Recap: Back to the Schoolyard

We're already up to Survivor 10 -- that's about Bart Simpson in "cartoon kid" years! Although The Simpsons has been on even longer than that, which is weird. Bart hasn't changed much during those years, but it's harder for an unscripted drama to manage that trick and still feel fresh. I endured the painful All Star Survivors season but I fled Survivor 9: Vanuatu after the awful first episode. I half-watched a couple episodes late in the season, and was underwhelmed, if that's a word (and it is).

That's in the past. I watched the first episode of Survivor: Palau with an open mind (also, with my eyes). Would this season bring some fresh ideas, some surprises? Could it hold my attention? We shall see!

Lost! With Jellyfish!

The commercials for this season made it appear as though 20 survivors would be abandoned without supplies, a map, or any hint about what to do next. An intriguing concept, and no surprise, not quite true.

First things first. Palau is located about 500 Km (310.69 miles) east of the Philippines in the Pacific Ocean. It has been an independent nation for 11 years and consists of 8 main islands and more than 250 smaller ones. Beneath the shimmering blue ocean waves lies wreckage from World War battles and "literally millions of jellyfish!" Jeff tells us. I thought there was going to be a war theme, but maybe they'll alternate with a jellyfish one.

Jeff appears in a motorboat and speeds toward the 20 survivors, working their way toward him in a paddleboat. He tells them 2 machetes, one map, and 2 immunity necklaces, (one for the first man, and one for first woman who can get to shore and claim them) await them. They are about a mile away, and can get there however they like. The game has begun. One genius (Coby) almost immediately jumps out. James the token hick calls Jeff a sonofabitch in a confessional, and says he thought they were gonna get breakfast.

Some survivors start moving toward the back of the boat, to position themselves for when the boat is closer to shore. Then the woman who Burnett wanted out first stood up in the boat and started singing. Well, c'mon. Wanda may have been clueless, but no one wanted to listen to the "bunch of songs" she wrote for Survivor. Willard is probably not the only one who wanted to knock her off the boat. Wanda is "all about it being one big party for as long as it lasts," eh? Thank goodness for that foreshadowing. She's gone alright.

Then Stephenie jumped out of the boat, immediately followed by Jonathan. It was still far away from shore. Silly, and Stephenie realized it right away. The boat arrives, and Ian is the first to reach an immunity necklace. Jolanda arrives second and claims the other immunity necklace. In a confessional, she is a bit obnoxious and boastful about her victory.

The large group gets organized immediately, dividing into different groups devoted to fire, shelter, and water (more like looking-for-water) duty.

Tom, a NYC firefighter who a friend of mine is already crushing on, calls fire duty "a loser job, man." Doesn't he have to say that? He says he was asked repeatedly if he'd like to help try to start a fire and turned it down each time. Now if they ever want a guy to put one out, he's their man.

The gang has no other clothes so naturally they have to use the machete to make what they have skimpier. Soon, a water source and a bag full of shoes are found. Together, as they so often are.

Angie, a young, heavily-tattooed-and-pierced bartender and Coby, a hairstylist, bond over understanding what it's like to be different. Angie says, "We understood being ostracized." Coby tells her he was relieved, "to realize I wasn't gonna be the weirdest one here. I mean that in the most loving way." He describes them in confessional as "both cut from the same cloth" and both being "outcasts" but says he recognizes the danger in being targeted as an outcast aliance (foreshadowing alert!).

Janu climbs a tree to secure some ropes for the shelter, and she proves an amazing treeclimber. She says she "climbed that puppy like a monkey." Indeed, and everyone loves monkeys!

Meanwhile, Jolanda ate a grasshopper, and cheered. (Don't they usually wait to eat bugs until they're starving? What are these guys, a few hours late for breakfast?) And Coby for some reason is already talking about voting Jonathan out. No clue why he singled out Jonathan; I wish that was at least addressed in a confessional. Caryn pointed out that they might not even be on the same team (team? tribe, Caryn! Other than that, good point). In a confessional, Coby discusses his clever, subtle techniques of persuasion in convincing people to vote his way. At least he thinks he is subtle. We at least know he's a manipulator. Poor Angie thinks he's her friend but he is not to be trusted.

Jeff arrives, and asks who arrived first. He tells Ian and Jolanda they have won ten minutes of immunity. There will be two tribes of nine each. Time to pick tribes. Two people will not be selected to be on a tribe (we are shown Wanda and Angie).

Jeff tells Ian to pick a girl (there are children in the game?). He picks Katie. Jolanda will then pick a boy, presuma-- hey, Jeff tells her to pick a "guy" -- weird. Katie then picks a man (let's lose Jeff's sexist language), and so on. The tribes end up as follows:


Koror (Ian's tribe -- "older and wiser")

Ian, 23, dolphin trainer from Key Largo, Florida
Katie, 29, advertising executive from Merced, California
Tom, 41, NYC firefighter from Sayville, New York
Janu, 39, Vegas Showgirl from Las Vegas, Nevada
Gregg, 28, business consultant from Chicago, Illinois
Jennifer, 32, nanny from Encino, California
Coby, 32, hairstylist from Athens, Georgia (Coby chose Caryn rather than Angie, who was crushed)
Caryn, 46, civil rights attorney from Solon, Ohio
Willard, 57, lawyer, from Bellevue, Washington

(Jonathan, 23, sales & marketing from Dallas, Texas, is eliminated)


Ulong (Jolanda's tribe -- "younger and more athletic")

Jolanda, 39, lawyer, from Houston, Texas
Bobby Jon, 27, waiter, from Troy, Alabama
Stephenie, 25, pharmaceutical sales rep. from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Jeff, 21, personal trainer, from Ventura, California
Kim, 25, graduate student from Huber Heights, Ohio
James, 33, steel worker from Mobile, Alabama
Ashleee, 22, student from Easley, South Carolina
Ibrehem, 27, waiter from Birmingham, Alabama
Angie, 24, bartender from New Orleans, Louisiana

(Wanda, 55, English teacher, from Ulysses, Pennsylvania, is eliminated)

A boat takes Jonathan and Wanda away. Ian encourages Wanda to sing and poor Jonathan therefore has to endure both the humiliation of not even lasting long enough to being voted out at tribal council, but also listening to Wanda's caterwaling for Probst knows how many miles as they speed away from his dreams of one day landing a guest spot on a UPN sitcom.

Jeff hands out buffs. Koror is brown, and Ulong is blue. They will live together on one beach. They're delighted. They hug.

The Reward/Immunity Challenge: Supply Dump



In this challenge, the survivors do the usual obstacle course thing, then have to make some strategical decisions (uh-oh) at a "supply dump." They can take whatever supplies they want. If they win, they can keep whatever they have brought. The more they bring, the more they are slowing themselves down, but the greater their potential reward. Next they climb a ten-foot wall and wade through a waist-deep swamp. The survivors then dump the supplies and finish with an outrigger canoe race, at which point James the token hick will probably be calling Jeff more names and be expecting lunch.

Koror takes the lead early, grabs only "fire" (supplies in a steel case), and zooms by Ulong. Jolanda insists on taking all the supplies they can. Eventually, her tribemates realize how far behind they are and Ulong just goes, leaving fire behind. Jeff's play-by play here is top-notch: "Ulong brought food and water, did not bring fire. Interesting strategy." He leaves the viewer to supply their own "dumbasses" at the end.

Their trouble doesn't end there; they can't even paddle their canoe in the right direction. "Ulong is looking for another island," observes Jeff. Heh.

Of course Koror wins immunity and reward (the "fire"). Jeff tells Koror the two tribes will no longer live together and offers them the choice of their current home, with the shelter they helped build, or a map to an unknown new home. Tom suggests "a new adventure" and they take the gamble.

The adventure begins with their canoe turning over en route to their new home. The steel case they just won promptly sinks and is deemed unretrievable. Good times.

Meanwhile, at Ulong Beach, Jolanda is bossing everyone around. She loudly demands everyone rest an hour for every two hours they work. She has also decided that Angie must be voted out because she is the weakest (nevermind that it is a lack of intelligence that cost them their first challenge). Stephenie tells her she thinks the decision to take all of the supplies during the challenge cost them the win. Stephenie is not the only one who was bothered by this but most people did not later mention it to Jolanda. Stephenie tells her she knows they need her strength but she tries to rally support to vote her out. Go, Stephenie!

At Tribal Council, James calls the decision to not take fire at the challenge "dumbass." Ashlee tells Jeff the tribe needs a leader and Jolanda says, "We need somebody to make a unilateral decison." Apparently she would like to help lead the group, but she knows she has a strong personality. Angie tells Jeff it weighs heavily on her mind that she was picked last.

The first one actually voted out of Survivor: Palau is Jolanda. Jeff does his usual "That's five votes, that's enough" but the total vote tally is 6-3. Only Jolanda, Bobby Jon (who Jolanda picked for Ulong), and Ibrehem (who picked Angie for Ulong) voted for Angie.



Next Week on Survivor:

One of the female survivors I can't yet tell apart from the others is, for some reason, shocked to see a rat. Koror endures thunderstorms. Jeff and Kim snuggle, but it's okay because it's Survivor-Jeff, not Host-Jeff. Tom says, "Fire is the only thing that matters." Koror still wants the missing steel case o' flint.

What Did I Think?

I was pleasantly surprised. Team-picking should not be avoided in schools because, well, life is harsh enough. Survivor is supposed to be somewhat harsh, and I like the idea of immediately revealing and possibly creating a bunch of mini-alliances. Nifty. I like that the tribes lived together for a little while both before and after the tribes were created. Changing the dynamics of the tribes and the living conditions this way was at least a good way to make the first episode more interesting. Losing the men versus women tribal split was a necessity just to get me to tune in once. Too soon to judge the cast, but there seem to be at least a few likeable people this time. Let's hope there are more (positive) changes and surprises to come and that this will be a good season. As long as I'm enjoying it, I'll try to continue blogging about it.