The Apprentice Cruise
As if the prospect of a cruise wasn't horrifying enough to anyone who's read A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, Trump World Magazine and Expedia think we might like to pay to be trapped at sea with Michael Tarshi, Jenn C., and Maria.
They say at sea no one can hear you scream.
The Apprentice Legend Cruise departs September 26th 2005 from New York City and returns October 4th. What can you expect for your minimum $1249 investment?
Day One you'll "mingle with fellow fans and see The Chairman himself, Donald Trump at the Apprentice Legend Sail-Away Event." Apparently, Trump really wants to be called The Chairman now, as that nickname is plastered all over Expedia's website for this event. "The Donald" -- not as much. Please note that while you will have the opportunity to mingle with other people who paid for the cruise, you will merely have the opportunity to cast your eyes upon The Chairman. Not Frank Sinatra; he was the Chairman of the Board. Also, he's dead.
Days two and three will be spent at sea. Don't worry, there are a ton of activities. If they see you not engaging in activities they poke you with a sharp stick. More on that in a minute. The activities, not the stick.
Day four, you arrive at Puerto Rico for snorkeling, scuba diving, and "beach bumming." Day five, and you've already moved on to St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands. It's apparently "a duty-free paradise." There are also museums, gardens, a marine park, and a tramway. But screw all that, there's the Expedia/Trump World magazine Golf Tournament. You know that's where The Chairman will be. Maybe you can see him again. Just don't try any mingling.
Day six and you're at Tortola, British Virgin Islands. You can hike through a rainforest, lie on the beach, snorkel, explore botanical gardens, go to the pub, and wonder why you're only spending one freaking day there.
Then you have two more days at sea, and a Fan Appreciation Masquerade Ball to bring your vacation to a close. "Bring your most intriguing mask or costume ... This is your last chance to enjoy the good life that success brings!"
So the rest of your life will suck, sorry about that. But before the fun comes to a screeching halt, you'll have enjoyed activities such as:
* Cast Member Appearances - "up to 10 cast members will sail with you to the Caribbean and participate in a variety of events, including Behind-the-Scenes Q&A, Career Development Roundtable, *Special Dinner Seating, and the Apprentice Legend Cruise Competition."
To date, Brian, Maria, Rob F., Michael T., Nick, Bradford, Jenn C., Raj, and Stacie J. have signed on. That's nine, so it looks like "up to one more" might participate. The website urges us to "Check back soon for more Cast Member announcements." That's plural ... maybe they will add one or two people and take away Jenn C.!! (extra exclamation point added in honour of her love of them).
* Apprentice Tribute Gala Evening - "Enjoy a formal night including a complimentary cocktail reception with open bar and hors d'oeuvres, and take home an Apprentice Legend Cruise souvenir menu." (emphasis added; everyone likes souvenirs)
* Apprentice Legend Cruise University -- "Trump World magazine will present special guest speakers in a series of career development sessions throughout the cruise, focusing on various business and career-advancing topics."
* Texas Hold 'Em Poker Tournament (for after the learning thing gets boring)
* Apprentice Legend Competition -- "Test your skills in 'Apprentice-like' tasks. Don't miss the chance to compete in the Apprentice Legend Cruise Competition, judged by the cast members themselves. Grand prizes are big!" (Jenn C., Brian, Maria, and Michael judging Apprentice-like tasks? No! Nick? Sure! Cool! But let's not turn this cruise into a floating farce)
* Apprentice Legend Cruise Caribbean Deck Party
* Art Appreciation and Auction
* Disco Pajama Party
* Comedy Showcase
* Talent Show
* Karaoke Competition
Disco Pajama Party and Karaoke Competition? Why not Disco Pajama Karaoke Contest? Doesn't Trump say to Think Big? Maybe the Expedia and Trump Magazine folks are only allowed to look at him, not to mingle or listen.
They say at sea no one can hear you scream.
The Apprentice Legend Cruise departs September 26th 2005 from New York City and returns October 4th. What can you expect for your minimum $1249 investment?
Day One you'll "mingle with fellow fans and see The Chairman himself, Donald Trump at the Apprentice Legend Sail-Away Event." Apparently, Trump really wants to be called The Chairman now, as that nickname is plastered all over Expedia's website for this event. "The Donald" -- not as much. Please note that while you will have the opportunity to mingle with other people who paid for the cruise, you will merely have the opportunity to cast your eyes upon The Chairman. Not Frank Sinatra; he was the Chairman of the Board. Also, he's dead.
Days two and three will be spent at sea. Don't worry, there are a ton of activities. If they see you not engaging in activities they poke you with a sharp stick. More on that in a minute. The activities, not the stick.
Day four, you arrive at Puerto Rico for snorkeling, scuba diving, and "beach bumming." Day five, and you've already moved on to St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands. It's apparently "a duty-free paradise." There are also museums, gardens, a marine park, and a tramway. But screw all that, there's the Expedia/Trump World magazine Golf Tournament. You know that's where The Chairman will be. Maybe you can see him again. Just don't try any mingling.
Day six and you're at Tortola, British Virgin Islands. You can hike through a rainforest, lie on the beach, snorkel, explore botanical gardens, go to the pub, and wonder why you're only spending one freaking day there.
Then you have two more days at sea, and a Fan Appreciation Masquerade Ball to bring your vacation to a close. "Bring your most intriguing mask or costume ... This is your last chance to enjoy the good life that success brings!"
So the rest of your life will suck, sorry about that. But before the fun comes to a screeching halt, you'll have enjoyed activities such as:
* Cast Member Appearances - "up to 10 cast members will sail with you to the Caribbean and participate in a variety of events, including Behind-the-Scenes Q&A, Career Development Roundtable, *Special Dinner Seating, and the Apprentice Legend Cruise Competition."
To date, Brian, Maria, Rob F., Michael T., Nick, Bradford, Jenn C., Raj, and Stacie J. have signed on. That's nine, so it looks like "up to one more" might participate. The website urges us to "Check back soon for more Cast Member announcements." That's plural ... maybe they will add one or two people and take away Jenn C.!! (extra exclamation point added in honour of her love of them).
* Apprentice Tribute Gala Evening - "Enjoy a formal night including a complimentary cocktail reception with open bar and hors d'oeuvres, and take home an Apprentice Legend Cruise souvenir menu." (emphasis added; everyone likes souvenirs)
* Apprentice Legend Cruise University -- "Trump World magazine will present special guest speakers in a series of career development sessions throughout the cruise, focusing on various business and career-advancing topics."
* Texas Hold 'Em Poker Tournament (for after the learning thing gets boring)
* Apprentice Legend Competition -- "Test your skills in 'Apprentice-like' tasks. Don't miss the chance to compete in the Apprentice Legend Cruise Competition, judged by the cast members themselves. Grand prizes are big!" (Jenn C., Brian, Maria, and Michael judging Apprentice-like tasks? No! Nick? Sure! Cool! But let's not turn this cruise into a floating farce)
* Apprentice Legend Cruise Caribbean Deck Party
* Art Appreciation and Auction
* Disco Pajama Party
* Comedy Showcase
* Talent Show
* Karaoke Competition
Disco Pajama Party and Karaoke Competition? Why not Disco Pajama Karaoke Contest? Doesn't Trump say to Think Big? Maybe the Expedia and Trump Magazine folks are only allowed to look at him, not to mingle or listen.
posted by trill42 at 11:48 a.m.
3 Comments:
Brutal! The only thing worse than being on a cruise I think would be to be on a cruise with Michael and Jenn C.
Regarding Tom Cruise:
At Oprah's show, Tom made an ass of himself. First of all, his euforia, jumping like a monk, screaming happiness by saying that he's was in love. He acted like an idiot. Specially when he begin giving medical advise regarding post partum depression. What he know about having babies? He's incapable to father children.
There's a big difference between being capable to father children and adopting them.
It's really sad to know that Tom's money was NOT originated by intelligence, but for his looks alone. He braggs about Scientology.
Lets talk about a few of them who is into this cult.
Look at Christy Alley almost 300 lbs, and depedent on drugs. The 2 Presley's, mother and daughter. Travolta dueling with his attraction for guys. The list of crazy one's into Scientology goes on and on.
Tom Cruise should stay with Scientology and see if he gets a space at Mother ship.
So, Marie, you're saying you think Tom should not go on the Apprentice Cruise, but instead should leave the Apprentice Cruise to people actually involved with The Apprentice and fans of the show? I agree with that. I'm not familiar with the "Scientology Mother Ship" cruises but if Cruise takes you up on your suggestion, I hope for his sake they have shuffleboard!
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