The Apprentice Keeps Trump for Two More Years

My show! Mine, mine, mine!

So, it's official. NBC Universal Television Group president Jeff Zucker delivered the news at a press conference this weekend during the Television Critics Association winter press tour:

Zucker said Donald Trump will return for two more editions of The Apprentice in the 2005-06 TV season, but he refused to answer questions about rumors that Martha Stewart will have a role in The Apprentice.

Why should she want to play second fiddle to Trump, especially when he has been giving interviews to everyone with a typewriter or a crayon, saying things like this: "Those rumors" aren't accurate," he said, "and I don't think she'd want to do it. And to be honest, part of the problem is, it will not be easy to replace me. I wouldn't want to replace me." I wouldn't want to replace myself either; it might spark some sort of existential crisis. Who needs it? Who knew Trump thought of such things?

Or maybe just maybe he's arrogant enough to think she isn't good enough to replace him, or something. If Martha Stewart isn't a big enough "name" to replace Trump, who is? Who is imbued with the special qualities necessary to appear on this unscripted drama for an average of maybe a half-hour of shared airtime a week for 15 weeks? They don't have to say much or pay any attention to how the candidates do on the tasks. That's what Carolyn and George (or the George-Substitute-of-the-Week) are there for, after all! It's a pretty cushy job, it makes Trump a lot of money, and has made him even more famous than he was. It's not hard to understand why he wants to keep the gig.

Still, there is a lot to be said for having the wisdom and class to know when it's your time to go, and for leaving before everyone really wants you gone. Wisdom and class are not necessarily traits Trump is commonly associated with, but it might have been nice if he had decided to move on to some new challenges. Better to leave 'em wanting more than to leave 'em asking, "Is he gone yet?"

As for Martha Stewart, she still has plans for a Mark Burnett-produced syndicated homemaking program and another prime time-program, described as somewhere in between The Apprentice and Martha Stewart Living. Sounds like it might be a spin-off of sorts. If it happened to do well, it might irritate Trump or he might claim credit for "paving the way" for it, but he would still find some statistic to show The Apprentice was doing better and yell it from the rooftops and talk about it to anyone with a typewriter or a crayon. This is why I had to throw away my typewriter and crayons. You can't be too careful.

Mark my words: The Apprentice 5: Left-handed People vs. Right-handed People. Once and for all, they'll aim to figure out who is better at business.