The Apprentice 3 Episode 1 Recap: A Viking Hat is Better Than a Golf Ball and a Guitar

A lucky viking hat

The Street Smarts team, a.k.a. Net Worth consists of the following people. If you saw the episode, here's some of their most notable quotes to help jog your memory as to who's who:

Angie, 41 -- "The viking hat doesn't have anything to do with our western theme but Brian, he goes, 'Oh my God, I gotta have that viking hat,' and gets the guy to give him the viking hat for free! Free!"
Audrey, 22 -- "So you're it, bud!" (agreeing that John should be PM)
Brian, 29 -- can't be limited to one quote with him! "If I don't like something you do, I will tell you to your face. If you surprise me with something in the boardroom that you did not bring to me before we get in there, buckle your chinstrap. I'm telling you right now, buckle your chinstrap." and "I used to own a dollar store, so ultimately I know the price of what these products are."
Chris, 21 -- "I don't see failure as an option."
Craig, 37 -- "I'm Craig Williams." (actually he did also say "I think Net Worth is gonna be it." He wasn't shown saying much)
John, 32 -- "The guy in the leisure suit, obviously he dances to the beat of a different drummer, and that drummer loves polyester" (about Danny)
Kristen, 31 -- "I'm not gonna sit in a circle and sing, 'Kumbaya, my Lord.' I guess that's what they did in college while we were working and making money. Maybe that's why we're worth three times as much."
Tana, 37 -- "House smells like urine, frickin' dog dander everywhere, and the damn dogs are jumpin' up on my skirt, practically ripped my pantyhose, I thought, Jiminy Christmas, let's just get out of here. Wouldn't you know it, the dog gets so excited, because my partner in crime Kristen's pettin' his ass, and he pees all over me."
Tara, 28 -- "When I found out that the net worth of my team was three times greater than the net worth of the other team, I'm feelin' pretty confident!"

Right from their first decision, the teams each had their own focus and it was borrowed from Trump. "Book Smarts" named itself Magna, putting the focus on its education. "Street Smarts" in naming itself Net Worth put the focus on its greater income ... and overcoming obstacles and such, according to what Tara told Trump ... but this group mostly seems focused on the almighty dollar. At least on a task where the goal is to sell, and earn more, a preoccupation with making money, with making more money, this gave Net Worth a practical advantage.

It probably gave them a psychological advantage as well, thanks to Trump making sure all the candidates knew very well that the "high school graduates" made more than three times as much money as the nose-in-a-book gang. When John rubbed it in by saying, "I have a suggestion, from now on, instead of refering to my group as 'high school,' could we refer to us as the wealthier of the two groups?" some of the men in "the poorer group" certainly looked a bit disgruntled. Kristen brought up her team's wealth when ridiculing the other group for singing.

Right from the get-go there's a rivalry between any two teams on The Apprentice but in this case Net Worth has already achieved a lot of success at Trump's first love: making money. He admires education, but he worships money. Sure, he fired Troy despite Troy being good at making money and not being highly educated but that was years ago and he got flack for it. And the Magna kids are not remembering Troy, they're too busy feeling inadequate.

More to the point, once they got down to business, Net Worth did a great job, and John was an excellent leader. In a refreshing change from last season (props to both teams for this), no random PM-selection! Both sides chose PMs based on actual experience, how amazing! What did John do right? What did Net Worth do right?

- John had his entire team brainstorm together and made sure everyone took turns talking and had a chance to have their ideas heard. He was open to everyone's ideas which was bound to make them feel more invested in the task. He didn't even mind giving away a trip to "the West" when the West meant Las Vegas ... even though Las Vegas really makes most people think of slot machines and Elvis Presley. Hey, a free trip is a free trip.

- Net Worth was much more professional at their meeting with the Burger King executive, and I think this shows how much more organized and prepared they were. The Burger King employees were probably more motivated and enjoyed working with Net Worth more ... though Net Worth might have been bordering on shady corporate sabotage by claiming Magna looked down on the employees due to their lack of a college education.

- Net Worth picked a promotional theme that was consistent with the product -- a western theme for a western burger (nit-picky Las Vegas exception aside). They didn't just do one thing -- like the raffle -- they also got the outfits and made the posters ... extra touches that did matter.

- John recognized the importance of promotion and sales at the cash register.

- Net Worth's cashiers were much better salespeople. That sort of pushiness would annoy me ... if I ate at fast food restaurants (fair disclosure). But it was effective, and it made George smile in a way that lit up that Burger King so I have to admire it too.

- And the ability to negotiate a sweet viking hat (let's pretend the TV camera didn't help), plus the value in "just" having a good luck viking hat cannot be ignored.

A viking hat beats a golf ball and a guitar every time. It just does.