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Not So Amazing Under Pressure: Dennis and Erika No Longer Engaged In Race

The Amazing Race 5 - Episode 1 Recap and Commentary
by: Trill42 and yoti of unscripted.tv

Posted: July 29, 2004 CBS

Episode Title: Clearly, I'm More Intelligent Than You

Original Airdate: July 6, 2004

CBS Website: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race5/

This Amazing Race Recap and Commentary can be found at the unscripted.tv message board. Please visit our message board there to discuss this and other episodes of The Amazing Race and other unscripted dramas.

THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR YOU ... GOOD LUCK ... TRAVEL SAFE

The fifth season of the Emmy Award-winning unscripted drama - The Amazing Race, starts with our favourite Phil-anthropist host, Mr. Keoghan, telling us that this season's winners will be competing for, yeah, you guessed it: One. Million. Dollars.

This season we have 11 teams competing for the dough. They are, in order of appearance:

Brandon and Nicole, "committed Christians," who recently moved to Los Angeles after dating long-distance for a year. She was Miss Texas USA 2003 and thinks having been in such a competitive situation will give her an advantage.
Kami and Karli, identical twins from Eugene, Oregon. Karli says she doesn't know how to describe the nonverbal language she and Kami have (probably because she is not very good at verbal language). She just knows that it's there, and Kami knows every single thing about her. Kami says part of the race will include doing what they are good at which is ... (both twins say together) "manipulating." Hopefully, for their sake, the ability to talk in unison will also come in handy at some point.
Linda and Karen, best friends, mothers, and amateur bowlers from Palmdale, California. Karen says, "Our biggest advantage will be our competitiveness; we go in to win." This should work perfectly, provided that no other team has thought of this clever "try to win" strategy.
Marshall and Lance, brothers who run a pizza restaurant together in Dallas, Texas. They expect to come close to killing each-other more than once. "I'm very abrasive, I'm very loud," says Lance. "I'm not really ever looking to offend anyone, I'm just being myself." That guy just happens to be a jerk. Thanks for the warning, Lance!
Charla and Mirna, cousins from Baltimore, Maryland. Charla, who has a form of dwarfism, says "The Amazing Race is a great opportunity for me to break all stereotypes about little people. I can do anything and everything anybody else can do if not better."
Dennis and Erika, ex-fiancés trying to reunite. Erika thinks the race will "definitely be their ultimate love test." Erika must not realize that's a different show, on another network. She says "the race will just amplify who we both really are and we'll see if those two personalities are compatible."
Bob and Joyce, dating widowers who met on the internet. Bob thinks the other teams will underestimate them but says "we are physically fit, we're intelligent enough to win this race." Ah, so he knows about Flo's win.
Colin and Christie, dating, from Corpus Christi, Texas. Christie describes them as "very stubborn, very aggressive leaders who are used to being in control." Colin thinks he could be "the most intense person to ever to run this race." He seems to consider that a good thing.
Chip and Kim, married parents who run a business together, from Orange County, California. They spend twenty-three hours a day together. So they're already sick of each-other! Should be fun.
Jim and Marsha, an ex-military father and his daughter hoping to grow closer. She thinks he only sees her as "a 10-year-old little girl that needs to develop focus." He protests that it's more that sometimes he sees her as "a 26-year-old little girl." Marsha is fine with the "26-year-old" part, seeing as how that's her age; it's the 'little girl' part that troubles her.
Alison and Donny, Big Brother runner-up and her on-again, off-again boyfriend, from Pennsylvania. On that show, she lied, cheated, and kissed another guy; they fought about that. They're a versatile couple though, so they can fight over lots of other things too. Yet they always get back together, because of a pact to spare the rest of the dating pool from being subjected to them. Okay, there is no pact but that would be nice of them.

We find our teams with Phil on the Santa Monica pier. It is a beautiful day with a bright blue sky - the perfect day to start a journey of more than 65,000 miles. And that journey begins with a single step. Or in Jim's case, a single misstep. But not before Phil explains the rules.

There are 13 legs in the race. The teams are given a small amount of cash at the start of each leg, to cover everything except the airline tickets, which are paid for. At the end of each leg, there is a pit stop. Eight of these pit stops are elimination points, so the teams will need to get to the pit stop as fast as they can, because if they are the last team to arrive, they will be eliminated. The non-elimination pit stops will also present teams with consequences - there is a new twist this season. But more about that later.

Who will have the right strategy - the right combination of brains, brawn, and teamwork? (Apparently new this season: the elimination of luck as a factor). Phil tells the teams that their first clue is waiting for them on their luggage at the head of the pier. They're to read the clue and run to one of the marked cars in the parking lot. The first team to cross the finish line will win that One. Million. Dollars. Everyone cheers and applauds. Yay, money! We love money! And with that, Phil asks, "Is everybody ready?" and continues " ... The world is waiting for you ... good luck ... travel safe... Go!"

AND THEY'RE ... OH, THAT HAD TO HURT

The race is on, but Jim stumbles on the pier and it ain't pretty. His leg looks like it's bleeding and he's only just begun! Two others fall but seem none the worse for wear. Mirna is already barking at Charla to keep up. The teams run to their bags and rip open their clue envelopes - "Find the hand in the sand in the country of Uruguay." They are only allowed to take one of two flights, which are first come first served, and they have $97.23 for this leg. Off they go to their cars in the race to the airport.

Colin and Christie take Lincoln, while the rest of the teams take the 405. Christie apparently used to live in Los Angeles, and thinks Lincoln is faster. The cars race along, but not above the speed limit - teams can be penalized for that. Erika can't believe "Texas" (Colin) tripped Dennis - apparently, he's one of the stumbling three. Colin says Dennis kind of ran into him, but got up quickly, so he thinks he's okay.

Back at the pier, Jim and Marsha are struggling with the trunk, and Charla and Mirna are still lagging. The moms are pulling up the rear. Jim's knee is bleeding profusely through his pants but he's pretty calm about it. "My dad's a tough military guy," says Marsha. "He has the never-give-up attitude, and attitude can make this race." But is attitude enough if your teammate's knee has split open before you reach the first airport?

Even with an injury, Jim and Marsha make it out of the parking lot before Bob and Joyce.

The other teams continue toward the airport. "Honk, babe, you're an L.A. driver," Nicole advises Brandon. Is that what Jesus would do, Nicole? "Oh my God, we're so golden," Colin tells Christie, sounding more intensely dweeby than actually "intense." Christie claims that Colin is her rock. An intense rock? And didn't pet rocks go out in the 70s? Is the intense pet rock the modern version?

The twins and the pizza-making brothers battle for advantage. "We're losing these people; they got women driving back there," Lance says." Remember, he's not looking to offend anyone. He's just being himself! Karli does her impersonation of the backseat driver from hell. "Damnit, when I say get over, get over."

The twins warn us it may not be all talking in unison and chewing Doublemint gum with them. They usually get along, but when they don't, it's "vicious." Lance isn't worried about being overtaken. "They're not gonna be that aggressive," he says. "They're not that bright."

Erika claims she and Dennis broke up because they weren't ready to be engaged; they only got engaged because there was "so much pressure" from family and friends. Dennis says, "If we can get through this, I think we can make it through anything." So basically, Erika enjoys scapegoating and Dennis is fond of hyperbole.

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE

American Airlines Flight 248 is departing at 1:50. Colin and Christie's route paid off - they are the first to arrive. There are spots for four teams on the American Airlines flight, and spots for seven on the United Airlines flight. What the teams are not clear on is which flight arrives first, and once a team buys tickets, they cannot return them.

Alison and Donny are already getting on each other's nerves - Donny can't figure out why they are still together. He thinks God might be playing a weird joke on him. This might sound paranoid, but after watching them together, you might start to feel that by casting them, CBS is playing a weird joke on the show's viewers.

The brothers arrive second. Close behind are Alison and Donny, Dennis and Erika and the twins. This group has traveled together in the airport shuttle, and have decided to work together to figure out the best flight to take.The American Airlines flight 248 arrives in Uruguay the next day at 1PM. But the United Airlines flight arrives earlier - at 12:35 - because its layover is shorter. Dennis and Erika get tickets on the American Airlines flight, making the mistake of assuming it's the better choice because it leaves sooner.

Meanwhile, Alison and Donny get the first tickets on the faster United flight; Alison requests seats as close to the front of the plane as possible. Karli and Kami get the second pair of tickets on the faster flight, and high-five Alison and Donny.

No high-fives for Dennis. He waits for Alison and Donny and the twins, holding them a place in line so they can get seats on the same flight. The brothers and Chip are especially mad about this queue-jumping, but Dennis says that there's nothing in the rules against it. He's obviously upset when the other teams berate him. "Right off the bat I'm like the bad guy and I thought I was usually the nice guy."

Erika had already run for the hills, leaving Dennis to fend for himself, observing from a safe distance that "every other team hates us right now. They're all screaming at us." Dennis eventually gives up. The twins run up to him and Erika to tell them the United flight is faster, but it's too late. Oh, well, at least Dennis got a new nickname for his troubles, courtesy of one of his fellow racers: "scumbag."

Dennis and Erika stare at their tickets. "We should have known," she says. "We're stupid." Gotta like her can-do spirit!

The moms and Charla and Mirna are happy, because they lucked out and got tickets on the faster flight too, despite getting to the airport fairly behind most of the teams. Jim's leg is quite visibly injured - so much so that an airport paramedic takes him aside and says that he can't travel like that.

Marsha hails a shuttle in a panic. Vincent the shuttle driver is quickly convinced to drive the father and daughter team to the airport medical clinic. Marsha tells Vincent that he's "The Bomb." Marsha - don't you know that you're not supposed to say such things at airports?

The United flight departs at 2:40 PM. Jim has just had 25 stitches in his leg, and good old Vincent is still there to take them back. They just make the flight, and are on their way to traveling the over 6800 miles to Uruguay.

TRAGICALLY, THERE ARE NO GIANT LIFEGUARDS IN PUNTA BALLENA

All of the teams arrive, but Dennis and Erika, Colin and Christie, Marshall and Lance, and Chip and Kim are on the later flight, so the other teams have a good half hour on them. Phil explains that The Hand is a statue in the city of Punta Ballena, Uruguay, set in front of some of the roughest ocean waters in South America. Phil explains that the hand, which is mostly buried so we only see the fingers, represents the last thing we might see of someone struggling in those dangerous waves. It is 75 miles from the airport to Punta Ballena by bus; the teams travel in two buses leaving, by Brandon's estimation, at least a half-hour apart.

The "The Hand In the Sand" Pictures from Uruguay

(thanks to Galen R. Frysinger for the pictures)

(Photo by Galen R. Frysinger, www.galen-frysinger.com, used with permission)

(Photo by Galen R. Frysinger, http://www.galen-frysinger.com/, used with permission)

Uruguay has beautiful scenery and greenery. It looks like a rich tropical paradise. Linda thinks it compares favorably to her hometown. "We live in the desert where it's brown and not beautiful like this." Linda's hometown might be rooting for her slightly less enthusiastically now. The teams arrive at the hand in the sand and receive their next clue. Now they must travel by ferry to Gorriti Island, a former pirate hideaway, to obtain their next clue at the end of the pier.

The teams seek taxis. Many of the team members seem to know at least some Spanish, which should help them a lot in Uruguay.

"Charla, get your whistle out." No, Charla, don't! Charla blows her whistle, twice, but no one stops. That's good, in a way. Whistle-blowing should not be encouraged! Not literal whistle-blowing, in non-emergency situations anyway. Charla approaches a taxi driver, plaintively asking "Help me? You want to help me? Gracias!" She gets in the cab. "Strangers love to help me," she says. "They see me and they think 'Oh, she can't do anything. Let me just do it for her.' That's gonna be saving us a lot of time." This must have something to do with how Charla intends to show that she can do anything and everything anyone else can do, if not better. That just happens to include faking helplessness.

As the teams race, first place shifts back and forth a lot. Brandon and Nicole are fighting too - Brandon won't listen to Nicole or include her in the decisions, but tells us that the Lord will look after them. Nicole is a bit put-out. "Everyone's in cabs," she whines, in a pitch-perfect imitation of TAR3 "winner" Flo. "Let's get a cab." "We gotta save our money," he tells her.

Despite her whininess, she's the one making sense. "We need to focus on making smart decisions together." Brandon is dismissive: "I need you to support me, Nic." Later, when commenting on the incident, Brandon pats her shoulder condescendingly and says, "What Nicki needs to understand is that we're trusting the Lord and he's gonna protect us and just trust that God's got our best in mind." It seems possible that Brandon thinks he's God's spokesperson. No doubt it's just a coincidence that God happens to agree with Brandon a lot.

Joyce tells her taxi driver "Gracias, señor" in a bad Italian accent. We know she's at least a bit net-savvy. When she and Bob decided to apply for TAR, she could have ordered some foreign language instruction tapes online or downloaded some for free if she wanted to be naughty.

Alison and Donny continue to bicker. She says she's the brains, he's the brawns. "Clearly I'm more intelligent than you," she tells him. Not intelligent enough to know that the word "brawn" is not typically pluralized in that expression but no one's perfect. Sure, Alison's as close as you can find this side of heaven, but even she can't be right all the time.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, FERRY TICKETS GROW ON TREES?

The teams all make it to the island in stages, and now must search from among almost 100 trees in a small forest in Punta Ballena for tickets for ferries back to the mainland the next day. The ferries are staggered at 8AM, 8:30AM and 9AM. The departure times are visible on the underside of the tickets, but once a team rips a ticket off a tree, they are stuck with that departure time.

The teams are getting more competitive, and are not helping each other. Charla and Mirna are bitter when Jim and Marsha don't want to work with them at this task (even though it's a competitive one, and cooperating with another team could cost them the last seats on an earlier ferry). Brandon has changed his tune and says he felt like he has let Nicole down for not including her in the decisions. Chip and Kim wind up with the last ticket on the last ferry and he gives them a nickname: "the bottom-feeders." Thanks, Chip; that's catchy!

After camping outside, some teams awake refreshed, while others ... not so much. One of the twins proclaims it to be "so nice today" and her sister says it's going to be a good day, while one of the brothers thanks God they're getting "off this hellhole of an island" after "the worst night's sleep of his life." The ferries are waiting, to take them to the Punta del Este Dock. There, they'll find their next clue.

Alison and Donny, Bob and Joyce, and Linda and Karen are on the first ferry at 8AM. Kami and Karli, Jim and Marsha, and Charla and Mirna are on the second ferry at 8:30. The rest of the teams are on the last ferry at 9AM.

The teams arrive at the dock, and read their clue. The 8:30 passengers have mixed success. Charla easily spots the flagged cluebox. Jim and Marsha have more trouble, as do the twins - amusingly so. "I'm sure we went right by it," one says, at the exact moment they rush right by it. Charla and Mirna savor some schadenfreude as their taxi zooms along. Charla sees the other teams' difficulties as "what they get" for them not having helped her team.

COME TO URUGUAY FOR THE HAND, STAY FOR THE BEEF!

The city of Maldonado is the next destination. Teams must travel there to find the Jose Francisco Gonzales meat warehouse. Not quite as catchy as Safeway, but maybe they don't need as much PR savvy down in Uruguay. Here they must transport a large, 55-pound side of beef to a butcher at La Rosada Carniceria to receive their next clue.

Mirna has to be the weakest link in all of this -she can hardly carry the beef, and complains that she might get mad cow disease. Burger King, a proud sponsor of this episode, was no doubt thrilled by this task and probably considered Mirna's concern over mad cow disease the perfect finishing touch. Charla definitely carries the team at this point, as well as their luggage, and eventually the beef when Mirna gives up, her pleas to God for beef-related help apparently having gone unanswered. Maybe He was busy helping Brandon and Nicole. Or maybe He had to do some paperwork first, because eventually, they find a local willing to carry all their bags.

Who knew this was such a religious show? But there you have it: Ask God for help and you'll get it. Seek (a local to do stuff for you) and ye shall find. Yet even as he (and maybe He) walks alongside them, Mirna says, "We can do it all on our own. We can do it. We don't need anybody. We never do." At which point, the local guy should have dumped the luggage to the ground and left. She would have been whimpering and begging God for help again within seconds. Instead, the guy starts to help with carrying the beef, too. For a team intent on showing that they can do everything on their own, they sure feel entitled to a lot of help from others, and are sure angry when they don't get it.

During their walkabout, Alison and Donny come across the Yield. Phil tells us about this twist, new to TAR5. "There's only one Yield on each leg of the race. The team that uses it may force a team that's behind them to stop racing for a pre-determined amount of time." A team that's been forced to Yield has to turn over an hourglass and wait for all the sand to run out before they continue. A team can only use the Yield once during the entire race. Alison and Donny pass up the Yield; they're in the lead and it's too soon to use it. Hey, at least Phil had a chance to show off his walking-around-while-explaining-something skills.

All the teams reach the butcher, despite the fact that some of them have traveled four blocks too far and are now further behind. The butcher gives the teams their clues, which tell them that the next clue is to be found across the street from the blue and white hotel back in Punta Ballena.Alison and Donny are fighting a lot. Their relationship, as Alison describes it, is dysfunctional.

IT'S BETTER TO BE LUCKY THAN NICE

Five teams walk the short distance to a taxi stand to call for taxis. Waiting for those taxis until they can move on are: the twins, Colin and Christie, Jim and Marsha, Dennis and Erika, and Brandon and Nicole. It's decided that the twins will go first, since they have been waiting the longest. It's up to the other four teams to work out who will take the other taxis as they show up.

The brothers arrive, and ask a shopkeeper to call for a taxi. When Chip and Kim show up, they advise them to make the same request. This pays off for both teams. The twins take the first taxi, the brothers the second. Chip and Kim, the seventh team to call for a taxi, get the third. Against the rules? No, especially since it seemed to be "their" taxi. Still, something smells a bit rotten in the state of Uruguay. That might just be the team members who were carrying around the beef, though.

Brandon and Nicole grab the next taxi. Dennis and Erika and Colin and Christie are the last two teams. Erika spots a taxi but Colin calls out, "This one's mine!" Dennis attempts to redeem himself, telling Erika they should just let them have it "as a good-faith gesture," much to the dismay of Erika, who reminds Dennis that they are in last place. Dennis says he wanted to "prove to everyone that I'm a nice guy." How about winning the race and then donating your share of the winnings to charity?

Eventually they get a taxi. But is it in time to finish ahead of any of the other teams?

Erika says, "Mr. Fairplay had to play fair game."

"Now it's my fault?"

"It's always your fault."

She grins a huge grin that says, "I mean that with every fiber of my being but because I'm smiling I can pretend I'm kidding, and therefore you're not allowed to get upset about my being witchy." It doesn't actually say that because grins can't speak, but it implies it. Erika might like scapegoating and hyperbole.

Across the street from the blue and white hotel, Alison and Donny reach the Detour. Phil explains that a Detour is a choice between two tasks. In this Detour, the teams must choose between "Zips" - where they must go to the top of a high-rise hotel, pull themselves across zip lines and then descend another zip line 18 stories, and "Chips" where they must get lucky on a roulette wheel at the hotel casino. If they fail at the roulette wheel, they must complete the "Zips" task.

After the Detour, the teams will have to travel 10 miles by taxi to Casa Pueblo, the Pit Stop. The last team to reach this pit stop will be eliminated.

Chip and Kim and the twins both pass right by the clue box at the hotel and proceed right to the casino - distracted by the route markers. Both teams are successful at roulette, and are the first teams on their way to the pit stop. Karli says, "Luckily, we won. By chance. I don't know how." Actually, that's pretty much exactly how."

Kim says that she is "really surprised we didn't have a Detour" because she doesn't realize how they've messed up their route. Charla and Mirna are successful at roulette as well, and Mirna jokes that she wants to stick around for one game of blackjack. Or maybe she's not joking. You can't say that she takes life too seriously.

At the Pit Stop, Phil tells Chip and Kim that they are the first team to arrive. They start to celebrate. Prematurely. Silly bottom-feeders. He continues. However, they missed a route marker (The Detour) and must go back, muy rápido -like. Kami and Karli have done the same. Back they go. Chip says it'll be a miracle if he and Kim aren't out. Enough already. God is too busy deciding who wins awards and sports games to muck with TAR. Make your own so-called miracles; better reading-comprehension would help. "Across the street from the blue and white hotel" means, well, just that.

Then we see Alison and Donny arrive. They have followed all the proper steps, having just completed the zips task. For their achievement, they receive the opportunity to participate in a promotional opportunity for American Airlines' website (hey, aren't they the airline with slower flights? Want a longer layover? Use AA.com to book your next flight!). Oh, they also win a vacation to Hawaii. Hawaiian TAR viewers, American Airlines wants to send Alison and Donny your way. Isn't that nice?

Phil next greets Marshall and Lance, possibly cast because CBS thought TAR viewers were sick of likeable guys, a la Kevin and Drew and beloved clowns Jon and Al. So the teams finish in the following order:

Alison and Donny
Marshall and Lance
Linda and Karen
Bob and Joyce
Charla and Mirna
Brandon and Nicole
Colin and Christie
Chip and Kim
Kami and Karli
Jim and Marsha
Dennis and Erika

Mirna says she can't wait to see Phil - he's "gorgeous." They're disappointed to be in fifth place. Mirna consoles herself by hugging Phil.

Jim and Marsha arrive in 10th place. Jim breathes a sigh of relief and says, "Pain is not a factor" and that he and Marsha "think they can win this thing ... the experience goes on. And it does go on, except for one team. Dennis and Erika are the last to arrive. It seems like a cliché - Dennis was trying to be a nice guy and he finished last. Dennis, it's a race and you have to compete.

Erika says, "We knew our downfall was Dennis' kindness, but you know, I would rather be with a nice guy than a jerk so….if that's why we lost, oh well." She says, "this race has brought them so much closer even in this short amount of time." Dennis "loves her to death." He feels that "the race showed them that they're meant for each-other." Erika wouldn't want to be with anyone else. Birds chirp merrily and fly around their heads, as music swells and "They Lived Happily Ever After" appears on the screen. They may not have a million dollars, but at least they have each-other. For now, anyway. Unless they crack under pressure again.

Next week, Alison and Donny fight (no, it isn't a repeat of the first episode; this appears to be fresh footage). Mirna takes time out from the race (really, it's a new episode! She doesn't want to take time out for blackjack in Uruguay this time. She dances with a guy in Buenos Aires. Really it's a completely different recreational activity and country. Trust us.). And Chip and Kim feud with Kami and Karli. With names like Chip and Kami, you'd expect it to be the most adorable feud ever, but they don't look all that happy or cute.

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The Amazing Race 5-1 Recap and Commentary by Trill42 and yoti

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